but tonight you're a stranger (some silhouette)
by luvyle
Summary: The kingdom of Arendelle is preparing to welcome her new sovereign. Queen Anna the First or King Runeard escapes death in the forest and changes occur consequently. The sisters are separated because of Elsa powers but their treatments will be different because of the king's hatred for magic.
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE - Between past and future

King Runeard. The mighty monarch. The one who had allowed the kingdom to prosper. Who had escaped the Great Threat. Whatever it means. The story was old, at that time even the Prince Agnarr was just a boy, even younger than Anna to this day. The legend had been forgotten, not the statue commemorating the event. It had always been there, enthroned in the middle of the town square, visible even from the castle. The raised sword overlooking Arendelle almost menacingly, something vicious in the eyes of stone of a younger Runeard.

For Anna, he had been an attentive grandfather, someone solid to lean against upon the death of her parents. He had taught her everything, allowing her to follow him in his daily life. Step by step, he had prepared her for the fate that awaited her, for that crown that he seemed to wear with ease. How to be a queen, great like him, tough in politics and fierce in battle. While the princesses of other kingdoms were learning the arts of the court, neglected by the throne, he had made her his heiress.

No matter if she was born second.

King Runeard had a son and this son had two daughters. Elsa, the first born, and Anna, the second, logically the spare. But the natural order had not been respected for long.

Even though she was young at the time, Anna remembered the time when everything had changed. When her sister had become like a ghost haunting the palace. Barely seen around a corridor before disappearing into her room. With the door always locked. Games were no longer shared and, soon, Elsa became a subject that no one really discussed. Anna had tried, at the beginning. She quickly learned not to do it in the presence of the king, his voice rising at the slightest mention of his older granddaughter. Even with her parents, Anna had learned to keep quiet. But not for the same reasons. There were to many tears in their eyes when she was too curious.

Even if Runeard had been good with her, Anna had always feared him a little. That part of him who seemed so hateful of Elsa, even when she was just a kid.

Wiping away a tear, Anna closed her eyes and leaned against the railing. She breathed salt and the smell of the summer sun radiating from the stones. Night was falling, sign that she's been here for too long but nobody came to disturb her. It would probably be the last time that she would know this tranquility. Tomorrow, her time would belong to the kingdom.

She always believed that this moment would come later. At eighteen, she had already known too many deaths. First, three years ago, her father, the heir, and now the actual king, her grandfather. Their disappearances had made her the next in line for the throne.

For the first time in a long, long time she felt alone. Truely alone. She had the feeling that no one really understood her. That complexe pain that she had in her heart. That fear that crushed her belly. She was going to be queen with no one to walk beside her. No one to support her.

Deep inside her, there was this little voice. The one who wondered if she was really the right person. If Elsa wouldn't have been better. After all, Anna was just a thief. She had stolen all her rights to her sister. She felt like a usurper. Even if she hadn't wanted it, it was the truth. The thought had always inhabited her and was all the more present now that Runeard was not there. If only she could have talked to Elsa. Know her feelings. She could have allayed her doubts. Not that she deserved it. Anna had made no effort to talk to her in months. For a year maybe. Everything had accelerated with the death of their passed too quickly. She was ashamed to confess that she didn't even care about Elsa those last few weeks. The report was saddening.

The truth was that her sister was just a stranger now. A truth that remained painful.

"Your Highness ?"

She hadn't even heard Kai's step getting closer. In a sigh, she straightened her spine. From now on she should appear royal, even with the old attendant.

"Yes, Kai ?"

"It's getting late, you will get cold."

She forced herself to smile, her lips stretching but her gaze remaining sad. A burning fire couldn't have warmed her today.

"Thank you, Kai. Just one more minute."

"Of course, your Highness."

As she turned her eyes towards the statue one last time, a flash of courage struck her.

"Kai ?"

"Yes, your Highness ?"

She hesitated for a second, her slightly reddened cheeks giving away her trouble.

"Does my si-" she said, swallowing a word that she hadn't spoken for a long time. "Does the princess Elsa had confirmed her presence tomorrow ?"

She felt like a child, ashamed to hope for something she did not deserve.

"I don't know, your Highness, but I can question Gerda."

Her heart was beating too loudly in the silence who followed. Anna almost refused the tacit offer but the words went beyond her thought.

"Please."

He withdrew after a nod and a bow, leaving her again in that strange loneliness which would be her new normal.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPITRE 1 - Bittersweet

Her hands were shaking.

Behind the doors of the cathedral were gathered all the nobility of the kingdom and neighboring countries. Kings and queens who had respected her grandfather and had come to honor his memory by welcoming her in their ranks. Anna was not stupid, she knew that they were mostly there to ensure that old agreements would be respected. Maybe also to make new deals, more advantageous for them, with a young and inexperienced queen. She was going to have to prove herself quickly. For Arendelle.

Under the gloves, the signet ring of king Runeard – bless his soul – formed a funny shape around her thumb, only place she could slip it without losing it immediately. Later she should have it adjusted but she wanted to keep a trace of her grandfather a little longer. No doubt she was weak to do so but there had always been this softness in her when it came to her family. The tiara that she should wear in her daily life would be the same as her mother's but with the precious gems adorning the paternal crown.

From Elsa, she had nothing. Even if she was pained to know that she wouldn't be here for her big moment, it wasn't a childish revenge. She didn't want to mix the dead and the living, as if out of fear of casting a curse on her sister. Anna didn't want to lose anyone else.

"Her royal highness, princess Anna of Arendelle."

The doors opened, a heavy silence reigning between the holy walls. It was as if nobody dared to breathe. In response, Anna's pulse quickened.

Her step carried her to the altar but she didn't feel the ground under her feet. She felt overwhelmed. Only the habit, built in her muscles since childhood, pushed her foward. Kept her head high and her posture regal. She could do it. She had no choice. It was one of those moments where it was fight of flight and Anna had never backed down from an obstacle. The little voice deep inside her tried to express something but she was quickly shoved aside by her pride.

She forced herself to breathe. To bulge her torso as she had seen her grandfather do so often. She had to make him proud.

Three more steps and she would face her destiny.

The corner of her eye found a void in the first row where the royal family should have been. She may have prepared herself for it, it hurt anyway. Just a flash of silvery blond hair would have been reassuring.

She forced herself to swallow the feeling. She was no longer a child.

The middle of the night. A moment that Anna knew little about. She had always been an early bird, always ready to enjoy the sun, to be a part of the natural cycle. After dark, sleep came easily to her. Even after the death of her parents insomnia had remained foreign for her. Diving into a world where they still existed and where she didn't have to think was too tempting. Rehashing just wasn't in her character.

Yet, she struggled to fall asleep. Some strange buzz waved her body, making her restless. The day had been too loaded and her feelings were all over the place. The fatigue stayed, there was the most frustrating. She only wanted to sleep, recharge her batteries while she still could. Tomorrow would be another long day.

But the moon was rising, always higher, and her bad mood followed the ascent.

An incomprehensible grumbling escaped from her lips. She had to move. Maybe wandering around would help. Chocolate was also a good option. It was not very royal of her but she couldn't change in a day. Apart from a few guards, she was not likely to meet many people at this hour. They were lucky to sleep.

She slipped out of her room silently, a quilt draped over her shoulders. The fire would likely still burn in the kitchen and she didn't planned to linger in the hallways.

Walking quietly throught the palace was easy when she knew each shortcut and secret passage. She even took care to avoid the sentries, not in the mood for even a few words.

"Weird..."

The kitchen door was ajar, some oil lamps projecting a warm light on the stone walls. In the hearth, the fire cracked vigorously but the temperature seemed to drop ten degrees upon her arrival.

Exactly when she spotted someone perched on a counter. Her presence had also been noticed, the rattling of cutlery abruptly stopping.

If Anna had something in her hands it would have crashed on the ground. She didn't have as much control as the woman who gently placed the plate by her side.

"El-"

"Your Majesty." Elsa had cut her quickly, coming down from her perch and arranging her outfit, clearly embarrassed.

Anna had already seen this eagerness. This way of behaving, as if taken in a compromising position. The servants often acted like that with her grandfather. She should get used to them doing it with her. But we were talking about her sister. Her elder. The attitude revolted her.

Yet, too shocked, she says nothing.

She was petrified in the middle of the kitchen. It was like a ghost suddenly appeared before her eyes. No doubt she would have reacted better in front of a phantom.

After so many years. Coming across Elsa like that was too startling.

"Elsa..."

Just a whisper. She pinched her arm to reassure herself that she was not dreaming. _Good. It hurt. _She had often dreamed of this instant. The reality of the reunion put at shame by her imagination. Her arms should have been around her sister's shoulders. And where were the tears of happiness ?

"You're different." Anna felt silly. Why couldn't she find the words ? She ran a nervous hand through her hair. _Please, say something clever. _"Silly me. Obviously you're different, it's been-"

"Thirteen years."

At least, Anna hadn't been the only one to count the years. Did that mean that Elsa cared ? The five years old in her fussed just at the thought.

Elsa. Elsa was here. In front of her. Alive and older. Reality caught up with the queen and she rushed to her sister, arms outstretched to embrace her.

"Elsa, I missed you so much."

She should have expected it. Time changed people and she was just a glorified stranger to Elsa. See her move away, uncomfortable, panicked even, was another blow that she took directly in the heart.

"Please don't come near."

Elsa's arm was lifted as a protection but she hastened to wring her hands, her face almost ashamed.

Anna wondered for a moment if it was really her sister. A stupid thought but she was too different. Just a stranger wearing a familiar shell. But her eyes weren't lying. She would have recognized that eyes anywhere, it doesn't matter if they're drowned by emotions she had never seen in Elsa.

"What happened to you..."

Regrets tasted bitter on her tongue.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPITRE 2 - Elsa's reminiscences (1)

_(Thirteen years ago)_

It's her fault. It's all her fault. If only she had listened to her parents. _It's our secret. Don't tell anyone. Don't show it at anyone. Not even Anna. It's our secret. She's too little for that. Anna don't know how to keep secrets. _The thought was revolting because hiding something from Anna was like lying to herself. But her parents were adults, tall and smart, and she had too much respect for them to doubt. So she kept it a secret, even when she discovered that blood tasted like iron the first time she had to bite her tongue to physically restrain herself from speaking.

But it was one of these night where everything was quiet in the palace. Winter was well established, the cold controlled by a burning fire in the chimney. The family had gathered in a small living room for the evening. Diplomatic visits were slowed down by the weather and Agnarr and Iduna seemed to have all the time in the world. The book in her father's hand was an epic fiction and not one of those boring volumes that he had started to give her during study time. He was relaxed in a big chair, his blond hair turning to gold in the light of the flames. Her mother had long occupied a sofa with Anna literally spread over her before getting up in a chuckle when the snoring became too loud. She was obviously lost for the night, her five years of life powerless against sleep.

Everything was perfect, lulling her in a false sense of safety.

Those stupid gloves. Under the precious silk, her fingers were soaked and made her movemements clumsy. Earlier, Anna had asked her to do one of those paper birds and her attemps were unsuccessful. Even so Elsa was sure she understood the technique taught by the ambassador's son with whom they had played a few days ago. A third sheet of paper had been crumpled into a ball and sent into the fire when she lost patience. It was rare enough to be noted. Her calm often earned her compliments. But she didn't like failure, especially when it concerned her little sister. Disappointing her was out of the question.

So the gloves went away.

When the heat hit her bare skin, she sighed softly. The feeling was pleasant, liberating. Even if she was used to the gloves, she would have liked it to be otherwise. She stirred her knuckles towards the fire, eyes closing for just a moment.

Twenty seconds of perfect freedom.

Until hell broke loose.

Everything had happened so fast. So fast that her mind hadn't had the time to understand. Really understand.

The silence was deafening. Like calm before the storm. The exact opposite of the sudden noise heard a few heartbeats earlier. A crash of metal that had taken her by surprise.

It had only been a reflex. A stupid slip of her power. A flurry of snow had escaped from her fingers directed towards the fire which died in a spitting of smoke.

_Don't show it at anyone. Especially to your grandfather. _Now she understood why her father always looked so severe when he told her that. The seriousness was up to the threat.

The roar of the king was what got her out of her shock. His face was contorted with too many emotions for her to identify them all. Anger dominated him, his whole body tense and ready to pounce. The worst was that blade in his hand, his precious knife that she had always seen hanging from his waist. The same knife he used to cut apple wedges when she was staying in her office for long discussions about a monarch's duties. Although it was still the same man, she no longer recognized in him the one she admired. This bright-eyed grandfather who declared that she would be his greatest pride. Who perched her on his shoulders during long walks in the orchards. The one in front of her had a crazy look in the eyes, something that seemed to say he was ready for anything.

She noticed the tears when they rolled down her throat, freezing there uncomfortably. Clouds of steam escaped from the king's mouth as if he was a furious bull.

Elsa had lost control. Cold waves rippled around her in response to her fear. Soon even the snow started to fall in small flakes who weighed down whenever her grandfather took a step. At this pace it would soon hail in the palace.

"Monster !"

Everything was going too fast and too slowly at the same time. The scene seemed to take hours to unfold before her eyes. Yet she couldn't run away. Her feet were stuck to the ground.

"Don't touch her !"

Her father's reassuring back suddenly blocked her sight. She could see all of his anger too, in his posture and in his voice he normally never raised. The emotion was reassuring in him. He was like a shield standing between her and the danger. She wanted to hang on to him as she did when she was younger. To hide her face in his jacket and let herself be lulled by the familiar scent. But the distance widened between them when he tried to take the weapon in the king's hand.

That's when Iduna arrived in the room, alerted by the cries. She only observed the situation for a second before joining her daughter's side.

"It's ok, sweetheart. Calm down."

Her voice didn't seem so convinced despite her efforts.

"Breathe. Please, for me. In and out."

Breathe. The concept had been forgotten by Elsa who was just taking tiny breaths among the sobs.

"I'm here. We're here. Daddy and me, we will never let anyone hurt you. You're safe."

With her mother curled so tight around her, forming like a cocoon with her body she dared to believe her. Even when the men were still fighting nearby, insults raining like a stone rain on her heart.

_A monster. An abomination. A shame for the family. _The king stressed the importance of not letting their blood be spoiled.

"In and out, Elsa. Good."  
"My blood can't run in this _thing_. It's impossible. Are you sure about your wife ? You're just a boneless coward. She shouldn't have been afraid of the consequences if she had fuck a troll."

BAM.

The king found himself sprawled on the ground. The knife with whom he had threatened Elsa now in his son's hand.

"Never talk about them like that again. You understood me ?!"

The blade had come to press against the king's throat as a threat.

"And what are you going to do ? I'm the king !"

A moment passed. The mood suddenly changing. Eye to eye, the two men had exchanged a silent conversation and something in Agnarr's gaze had allowed him to take control.

Almost.

"If this _thing _comes before me again I swear before the gods that her head will be planted on a spike in front of this cursed forest !"

Elsa saw her father tense up, the knife pressing harder on the king's throat before being removed.

"Iduna."

He had not turned around, hadn't said more, but that was enough for her mother to straighten her and move her towards the door. Agnarr followed them, covering their retirement.

Elsa was barely in the hallway when the king spoke again. 

"You will be the one to blame the day it will cost you your daughter. Think about it, Agnarr."

It wasn't until a few hours later, buried under the blanket of her parents' big bed, the two adults huddled around her, that Elsa understood what he meant. _Anna._

The king seemed persuaded she was going to hurt Anna. The seed had been planted in the fertile soil of her fear.

Suddenly, she was not so sure she could prove him wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPITRE 4 - I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

An answer. That was all she asked. For years, she had been patient. She had taken care not to hurt the others' feelings despite her own. She had waited and waited again. Waited outside the door of Elsa's room. Waited for her parents to tell her about this secret that took up so much space in their lives. In _her_ life.

But she had only encountered failures. Silence. Closed doors.

Until she stopped caring.

It wasn't a matter of choice. She had to distance herself to survive. She had enough of lonely tears. She forced herself to grow, putting aside that little girl who just wanted her heroine back. She had stopped dreaming of fairy tales and knights coming to rescue her. She had grasped the sword that the king held out to her and had started to slay the dragons herself.

Despite all her efforts, seeing Elsa was enough to make her travel back in time. She was this little girl again, confused and too fragile in front of someone who could easily break her heart.

Thirteen years later and still no answer.

"Please talk to me, Elsa."

She hadn't begged like that for so long and she shouldn't have done it now that she was queen. But who was going to judge her ? Herself, maybe. She felt so weak. A part of her couldn't bear this whiny attitude. Not because she was the queen but because she shouldn't have stooped to that. She deserved better after all the efforts she had made to get out of the harmful cycle.

"It's been years and it's like fate has brought us together."

Despite everything, she was unable to stop talking. Unable to stop trying. Maybe that would be her only chance. Who could tell that Elsa was not going to disappear again ? She already had enough regrets. Remorse would be easier to bear.

"Why didn't you come to the coronation ?"

She knew immediately that she had made a mistake. The subject was too sensitive. Elsa's features were twisted, her fists clenched against her body. But the words flowed by themselves. Like a wave taking everything in its path, unable to stop before smashing against the cliff.

"I wanted you to be there. As I wanted you to be by my side when we lost mom and dad."

Elsa was hurting, Her eyes made glossy with pain. They reflected Anna's pain. Maybe it was the only thing that had united them all these years.

"Hell, I even wanted you to be there when Grandpa died. He was so important to me. I couldn't have done it without him."

Admitting it was like a blow to her ego. The event was recent and she was no longer a child. She shouldn't have wanted to be comforted by her big sister that much. Yet it was the first thing she had thought of. Not the kingdom, not her future. Elsa. Because there were only the two of them left. Elsa was her only family.

Because she felt ashamed of this confession she had looked away. She had ignored the signs. She hadn't seen this new emotion in Elsa's eyes, the blue sharpening, getting colder. The filaments of ice going up along Elsa's arms. The swirling flakes around her hands. She only noticed the cold that made her shiver and rub her arms in a reflex. The gesture broke the tension and when she looked up at her sister it was only because she had loudly exalt a cloud of pale mist. She was more closed than ever, as if gigantic walls had been built around her.

"Elsa-"

"You should go to sleep."

_That's it?_Apparently yes. Elsa had bypassed her without a look. And still without answering her.

"Stop ignoring me !"

Too loud. She had seen Elsa jump before she even grabbed her arm. She had to stop her. _Not again. Don't leave me again. _

"Anna, let me go."

Panic was barely contained in her voice. Anna hesitated yet unable to let go. She was already too far. She was a mess, tears running down her cheeks while her breathing became labored.

"Not until you answer me. Give me something. ANYTHING."

"Please, Anna. I don't want to hurt you."

"So stop acting like that ! There is nothing that hurts me more."

The grip she had on Elsa's arm loosened. She no longer had the strength to fight. Not for the two of us. The crying became a heartbreaking sob when Elsa took the opportunity to escape.

Her sister was like the others. They always left. Anna should have known. She was never good enough.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPITRE 5 - The moment of truth

Unconsciousness was like a blanket wrapped around her to protect her from the outside world. After a difficult journey to her room and more tears, exhaustion had finally won. Not a single dream had troubled her as it seemed that the reality was already enough nightmarish.

But she couldn't escape indefinitely. Even the queen was accountable. _Especially_ the queen.

A few knocks on the door remained unanswered. Anna's sleep had barely been disturbed. Moment later, the hinges creaked a little under the push of the housekeeper who noted to have them oiled. She made her way through the dark room, instinct pushing her towards the curtains. A hand clasped on the thick fabric, she decided otherwise. The child she cared for wasn't just difficult about waking up today. Quietly, she approached the bed and pulled the covers to reveal a mess of red hair.

"Your Majesty. Morning is here."

No reaction. She reiterated, accompanying the words with a slight shake of the royal shoulder. Peaceful breathing quickened, Anna's eyes suddenly opening in the middle of her mop. She pushed her hair back with great difficulty, her eyelids fluttering furiously as she tried to identify the person leaning over her.

"Gerda ? What-" She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here ? Where is Astrid ?"

"She had a bad cough, your Majesty. I preferred to give her a task where she would not pass it to anyone. I hope my presence will satisfy you in the meantime."

_Odd, _Anna couldn't help but think. Gerda hadn't taken care of her daily life since...years. Since Elsa had isolated herself in her room. That thought did not fail to remind her of the previous night. _So, not a dream. _She grimaced as she passed her hand over her tear-red eyes. Then again when the curtains were opened and a whitish light went through the windows.

"It's still snowing."  
"What ?"

It was enough to pull her out of the ditch that her miserable condition made her dig. She made an effort to straighten up, shivering as soon as the blankets fell around her. Outside, silent snowflakes were falling.

"It's a little early for that. The harvest fest had barely passed."

She shouldn't have been surprised. The kingdom suffered a strange climate for years. Fall snow was nothing by comparison to that summer, a lifetime ago. During an afternoon, Anna had been happy to bring out the coats and scarves to play outside. She always loved snow and saw this event as a gift for her birthday. Hours earlier, she was upset that her sister was not joining her on her special day. She had been hoping for months, this request being the only answer she gave when asked what gift she wanted. But she only had toys and books to welcome her after breakfast and the absence had never been so heavy. Then the snow had started to fall.

But today was different. No fluffy flakes, perfect for building a snowman. The snow became water again as soon as it touched the window, turning into sad streaks. Almost like tears.

"Kai cleared your schedule for the morning."

Anna was forced to turn her attention to Gerda, noting how her gaze stayed too long on the bags under her eyes. She lifted her chin with all the dignity left in her.

"It will not be necessary."

"It's already late." Seeing the questions in the queen's eyes, she continued. "You just have the time to eat and refresh yourself before your afternoon meetings."

It was not what she wanted to know. A scathing remark tried to make its way out of her mouth but she bit down the words at the last moment. Her pride was a little bruised but her attendants were right. She barely felt able to get up now, so earlier... The rest had been a necessity.

"I will ask that your meal be served here."

Before leaving the room, Gerda smiled at her. A stretch of lips full of melancholy, yet encouraging.

Someting woke up inside Anna.

Gerda _knew_.

"Gerda."

Patiently she waited until the old housekeeper finished opening the curtains and turned to her.

"We both know that Astrid isn't sick."

For three days, the same routine had occurred. Gerda woke her up a little too long after dawn, had her meal brought to her room, and helped her prepare for the day. She didn't need to see Astrid to know she was in top shape. Something was going on and she was tired of it.

Gerda took a few steps towards the bed, clearly uncomfortable. Her gaze was fleeing and she was wringing her hands. A gesture that Anna had never seen her do, even before the wrath of the former king.

Anna felt a touch of guilt who was quickly swallowed up by her need to know. She had already been too patient.

"I just want to know why, are you doing here ?"

In her voice, she heard the plea of a little girl who never got an answer. Maybe that's what decided the servant. She sighed, her shoulders bending under a weight that the queen could not have guessed present.

"Princess Elsa asked me to watch over you for a few days."

A stupid idea crossed her mind. That still today her sister's voice had more strenght on the subjects of the kingdom than her own. But it was a petty thought. One fueled by her insecurities about her right to rule. In addition, Gerda had said that Elsa had asked and not ordered. A detail that was important.

"Like she cares about me."

She grunted like a surly teenager.

"You are mistaken, your Majesty. Princess Elsa always cared about you. Not a day gone by without her asking me about you."

"It's not enough !"

Anna cried out to stop the fiery housekeeper.

"It's not enough."

She says more calmly, fingers clenching in the blanket.

At one time she would have been so happy to hear that. But not today. Not after this reunion a few nights earlier. Elsa couldn't play with her heart like that.

She jumped when Gerda's hand landed on her shoulder. Warm and reassuring. Tears in her eyes, Anna looked up, meeting her gaze. Despite all these efforts to barricade herself, part of her wanted more.

"Please. I just want to understand. I'm sick of all these secrets."

Gerda sighed again. Slowly, awaiting the reprimand that never came, she landed on the edge of the bed.

"I can only tell you what I experienced."

Anna nodded furiously, her expectations low.

"Years ago, your mother made me promise something. I can still see her. She was petrified with fear but fierce like a lioness protecting her cub. She squeezed my hands so tight. Gerda, she said. Promise me to never leave Elsa alone. She must never be alone with the king. The same day, things started to change."

Anna suspected what day it was. Her world had exploded. The selfishness of the child she was never made her wonder if Elsa's world too broke down. It seemed obvious that it had been the case.

"When your parents die... Well... The courier announcing the sad news was barely gone and the king was already giving orders. Even you didn't know it yet. He ordered that the princess be moved. Said that she was no longer part of the royal family. He told the staff not to interact with her anymore, to behave as if she didn't exist. Some people have been against his will. Few. The princess was already so effaced."

"He what ?!"

She had tried to contain herself. Anna hadn't wanted to interrupt Gerda for fear of never knowing more. But she was too furious. Flabbergasted too. It was a lot at once. All of her beliefs flew away. She always knew her grandfather could be a cruel man but she thought he had some limits. What monster was going after his own family like that ? And all this for what ?

He hadn't given Elsa a choice.

Anna had managed to endure everything. Elsa's silence, her absence, her secrets. Despite the hurt and the anger, she kept trying to reach out for her sister. But the death of their parents had shattered her. She had cried for a long time in front of Elsa's room, begging her to open it, to talk to her at least, but the door remained closed and her sister silent.

Because Elsa was not there.

It didn't erase everything. Elsa still pushed her away. But at least Anna had a track to follow. She was no longer lost in the unknown.

She knew what she had to do.

"Where is she ? I saw her the other day, it means she still lives here."

"In the east wing. But what are you going to do, your Majesty ?"

Anna pondered for a moment. Things had to change. Even if Elsa refused to see her, she refused to leave her the choice on certain points. She was the princess of Arendelle, next on the line of succession, member of the royal family. She would uphold this truth.

King Runheard could go to hell, it was his place.

"Give my own orders."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPITRE 6 - Emotion is a wild thing, together we can tame it

"What were you expecting? It's not like you acted differently from him."

Anna was pacing, retracing the same pattern over and over. The carpet seemed to have seen others in her father's time, the weaving well worn and a little faded.

The first morning after discovering the truth, she had chosen to take refuge in here, the former king's study leaving that bitter feeling in her mouth. She was no longer comfortable there after all that, every memory tainted with things she could only imagine.

These last few days had been difficult. Her nights filled with nightmares and her days full of regrets. How could she have been so stupid ? There were just too many emotions for her to manage them decently. She was angry and ashamed because of what her grandfather had done. But she suffered too. He had been her rock. Without him, she would not have been the same. She couldn't regret everything, destroy all the good times spent with him, but she felt bad about Elsa. After all he had done to her, Anna felt horrible not being able to see only the monster in him.

She had made sure to keep away from others, refusing to make them pay for her moods. No appointment. Little contact with servants. But there were someone she could never refuse too see. Her orders had been clear. She would receive Elsa at all hours of the day and night. The message had been transmitted to her and she had waited. And waited. And waited. She had never been the most patient, a trait of character encouraged by the king who felt that a monarch shouldn't have to wait.

_Well, thank you for that too._

Elsa didn't show up and her patience was getting thin. She wanted to give her time, to be attentive, but every night falling was like a missed opportunity. She was afraid the timing would never be right and she couldn't imagine losing her again when she was so close. Always behind that damn door but actually there at least.

"Why would she want to see me? Even if I had the best intentions in the world, I tore her from everything that was familiar to her. Maybe she liked to live in the east wing. It's not like I asked her about that. Or about the pretty dressses. Maybe she didn't like blue anymore. Gah, stop that, Anna."

Head buried in her hands, she uttered a long groan. She couldn't go on like this.

"It's been ten days. Maybe I could just say hello. Or knock. Yeah, a knock doesn't seem too intrusive. She won't even have to open the door. Let's be clear, she probably won't."

Fortunately, the hallways of the palace had never been very crowded. Only advantage of not having a court. That would change but the old ways were still in place for now. Today, there was no one to see the queen talking to herself.

The door to Elsa's room hadn't changed at all. It propelled her into the past and made her hand tremble when she touched the wood. Somehow the cool surface reassured her. The cold had always given her a sense of familiarity.

She held her breath.

_Toc. Toc. Toc toc. Toc. _

Too much, too loud. Anna winced, already taking a step back.

Something stirred in the room. Despite the mad rhythm that her blood was beating at her temples, she heard footsteps.

"Elsa ? It's me. Anna. Your sister."

_No kidding ! Idiot, she knows who you are._

"I just wanted to greet you."

It's not enough. Now that she was here, Anna understood it. Some part of her didn't want to be satisfied with that. She wanted to see Elsa. Really look at her. She had only a vague memory of this child she had known. Even this girl she had seen in the kitchen was enveloped in some sort of fog.

"It's a lie."

The words had escaped and she didn't know what to say anymore.

_The truth, maybe ? Our relationship needs it. _

"I would like to be a better person. Someone who would understand you better. But I'm lost, Elsa. I know nothing will ever be the same. But I... I just... I just want to get to know you."

A sigh crept out her lips. The truth was hard to tell but she was relieved. It was one thing less in her overheated mind.

When the door half opened, she didn't notice it immediately.

Until she saw blue.

Boiled wool seemed soft on Elsa's figure, hugging her gently. She looked confortable, the fire at the back of the room bathing her in a gentle glow. Yet her eyes remained on the ground, pink dusting her pale cheeks.

No doubt she must have looked like an idiot but Anna couldn't help looking at her, oddly fascinated. Seeing her like that was different. They didn't face each other by chance but because they both chose it.

Elsa's lips moved without a sound, frustrating her if she interpreted correctly that cute little frown. Strangely, Anna didn't mind having to wait for that. Elsa was here. With her.

"Hi."

Just a whipser.

Laughter tried to cut through Anna's throat – so that was what was so difficult to get out – but it died just as fast. Elsa had briefly looked up, icy eyes catching her off guard. She says so much more this way.

In a heartbeat, the door closed and Elsa disappeared. Leaving Anna in the hallway, dazzed.

After thirteen years, she had finally met Elsa.


End file.
